Who has two thumbs and made a complete ass out of himself last week? This guy! In case you missed it, and I’m hoping you did, I went 0-4 with my picks last week. The past three weeks have been rough, but last week was downright embarrassing.
I didn’t feel good about the Clemson-Florida State game. That game was really a tossup, so I went with the home team. That “tossup” turned out to be an ass kicking thanks to Clemson going into full meltdown mode. I wouldn’t have been surprised if they played a good game and lost a heart breaker. I was completely shocked when they wet themselves on national TV and bent over for Florida State. No one saw that ass whipping coming. If they say they did they’re a flat out liar. Clemson is left to regroup and Florida State is left with a straight shot to the national title game. It’s 1998 all over again.
As for the other three games I got wrong; Texas A&M is a joke of team. Their defense is easier to score on than a Kardashian. Their defense has cost them both of their losses this year. If you’re an Ohio State fan, watch tape on the A&M defense before you complain about the Buckeye defense. It puts a lot of things into perspective.
Stanford needs to get off my Island. I refuse to pick another Stanford game this season. Missouri on the other hand, I stick by my statement that they are an overrated bunch of media darlings. I’ll even take that a step further. Missouri’s next four out of five games are against pretty damn good football teams. They’ll lose at least two. If they lose to South Carolina this weekend, make it three. Basically, Missouri is not long for the BCS, and their over-hyped asses will be back in the bottom half of the top 25 where they belong.
Clearly I am a little furious about going 0-4 last week. But anger is a good thing, as long as it’s used in a healthy constructive manner. I am going to use mine to gain a little clarity and perspective on this week’s picks. I am sitting at 17-15 on the year; that alone is enough anger to fuel a lifetime of clarity. Here is to happy thoughts and yoga…seaweed energy drinks…smarts cars…you get the point. Here is to a healthy week of picks.
Northwestern at Iowa
Since I refuse to pick Stanford games, finding a fourth game to pick this week was a pain in the ass. So I give you Northwestern at Iowa. Why? Well, both teams are 4-3, and both teams are on losing streaks. Northwestern has had the biggest fall from grace. At one point they were ranked 16th in the country and gave Ohio State all they could handle on national TV. But losing a close game to Ohio State has been the high point for the Wildcats. Since that game, Northwestern looks utterly clueless on both sides of the ball. Iowa went in to Columbus and punched the Buckeyes in the face. Sadly, like Northwestern, losing a close game to Ohio State is the most impressive thing Iowa has done all season. So which turd do I pick? I’ll take the one with the better coach.
Northwestern 24 Iowa 21
No. 10 Texas Tech at No. 15 Oklahoma
This is a difficult game to pick. On one hand I really like what Texas Tech is doing. They play very good defense and their offense scores points, averaging over 40 per game. On the other hand you have Oklahoma, who aside from the Texas game, plays pretty damn good defense in their own right. It’s also interesting to note that both teams play top 25 teams next week as well, so I do not believe either team will be looking ahead to next week. I tend to go with the home team in these tossup games, but that logic has not been good to me this year. But as they say, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” I’ll take former big game Bob because he’s playing at home.
Oklahoma 33 Texas Tech 30
No. 12 UCLA at No. 3 Oregon
I am not picking against the Ducks. First, it’s a night game in the Pacific Northwest. Oregon has a great home field advantage, and it’s only amplified at night/late afternoon games. Second, UCLA could only manage to score 10 points against Stanford last week. Yes Stanford has a good defense, but surprisingly so do the Ducks. Along that same line, UCLA gave up 24 points to a pedestrian Stanford offense. Take those 24 points and multiple them by two, and then you’ll have most of the points Oregon will put up against UCLA.
Oregon 49 UCLA 21
No. 21 South Carolina at No. 5 Missouri
Oh how the college football gods hate me. They see me rant and rave against Missouri, and they know I am just waiting for the Tigers to fall flat on their face. Enter South Carolina; a team that has already fallen flat on their face. There is a reason why South Carolina was at the tippy top of my pretenders list to start the year. They now have two losses to teams that have three losses each. Still, I am very tempted to pick the Gamecocks this week, but I won’t. Connor Shaw is banged up, and their defense (led by the most selfish player we’ve ever seen in college football) has been a disappointment all year. I hate to say it, but I am picking Missouri. Don’t worry; they’ll still lose two games this year.
Missouri 39 South Carolina 17