Last week was yet another 2-2 performance by yours truly on my weekly picks. It wasn’t so much that I got two games wrong, that can and does happen to anybody, it’s how I got those games wrong. I all but called Missouri poor white trash last week. I once again put way too much faith in Georgia and completely discounted the Missouri offense. I was wrong on so many different levels. It’s a shame that Missouri’s starting quarterback, James Franklin, was hurt during their ass whipping of the Bulldogs. I give the Tigers a puncher’s chance of getting to Atlanta for the SEC title game with a healthy Franklin. Without him, well, let’s just say I think they lack the fire power to contend. As for Georgia; the Bulldogs might play in the SEC title game, but their shot at playing for a national title is deader than a door nail.
Someone please tell Mack Brown that the players in the Texas uniforms on Saturday that dominated the Sooners are the same players he’s had on his team this whole year. Seriously, The Longhorns are the Cleveland Browns of college football. Either Texas has finally joined the 2013 college football season, or Oklahoma is as overrated as every Apple product on the market today. I tend to think it’s the latter. ‘Big Game Bob’ lost that moniker years ago; right around the time USC was depantsing him on national television. Texas played well, but that program is still a mess and Mack Brown is still on the hot seat. Getting well against Oklahoma doesn’t make you as healthy as it used to.
Now that we have that unpleasantness out of the way, let’s focus on this week’s games. With my record currently sitting at 17-11 on the season, I have some work to do to separate myself from the average performance I turned in the last two weeks. Thankfully this week is hands down the best of the college football season so far. I could have easily picked 10 games, but in the interest of only bringing you the very best, I have narrowed the list down to the top four games of the weekend. Fall is upon us and so is the meat of the college football season. Go ahead and buy yourself that stainless steel Weber grill you have been saving for. Grab a nice chunk of college football action and throw that thing on the grill. I like mine medium with a warm pink center (don’t we all).
No. 22 Florida at No. 14 Missouri
First up, Missouri. I could jump on the ole bandwagon and pick Missouri to beat Florida, but I am not going too. Partly because I think Missouri is overrated and partly because they’re playing without their starting quarterback; but mostly because they’re overrated. I don’t care how good they looked against Georgia, Missouri is garbage. I refuse to give them credit when their signature win is against a hung-over Georgia team. Missouri did not win that game so much as Georgia decided not to play it. Florida has their own set of issues on offense, but the Gator defense shits nails. Florida will likely need to get creative to score points, but they’ll score just enough to win this game.
Florida 23 Missouri 16
No. 24 Auburn at No. 7 Texas A&M
Hey look, it’s another overrated SEC team. If Missouri is garbage then Auburn is the can in which Missouri gets thrown into. What exactly has Auburn done to deserve their top 25 ranking? They lost by 14 points to the only top 25 team they’ve played all year. Oh, and they beat Western Carolina by 59 points. Nothing says “top 25” like that resume. As much as I dislike Johnny Football, he is going to have a field day against Auburn. And yes, it’s true, the A&M defense will cost them a few games this season (see the Alabama game), but it won’t cost them this game. Johnny Utah (eat shit Manziel) will pad the Heisman stats and ease to victory on Saturday.
Texas A&M 42 Auburn 24
No. 9 UCLA at No. 13 Stanford
I cannot escape the curse of Stanford. Twice I pick those hippies to lose and twice they stop playing with their hackie sack long enough to make me look bad. Then, out of the clear blue sky, they lose to Utah. Utah! One week ago I had Stanford ranked third in the country, but I also had UCLA in the top 10 two weeks before everyone else did. That’s because I recognize a quality team when I see one. UCLA is so hard to beat because they are the most balanced team in the country. They run and throw the ball well, and they have a championship caliber defense. I am picking the Bruins in this game but I would not be surprised at all if those tree huggers from Palo Alto pulled out the victory.
UCLA 34 Stanford 31
No. 5 Florida State at No. 3 Clemson
It just got real. This might end up being the best game of the season. I honestly don’t know who is going to win this game. Both teams have stud quarterbacks with high powered offense and ruthless defense. Both teams score points by the bunches and both teams get after the opposing quarterback. This game will ultimately come down to one major factor; can redshirt freshman quarterback Jameis Winston handle the intense atmosphere of Death Valley? It’s cliché as hell, but if Florida State wants to win this game, Winston must find a way to block out all the attention and distractions this game will create and focus on the in-game action. I for one think he will. I think he is poised beyond his years, and he will someday be the number one overall pick in the NFL draft. That being said, I think Clemson will win another thrilling shoot out at home.
Clemson 33 Florida State 30