Diary of a Douchebag – Mark Emmert

by Junior D on June 3, 2012 · 0 comments

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Dear Diary,

Can’t everything just stay the same? Why are the fans, conferences, media and school presidents putting me in this position? I don’t know why college football has to change. Why does everyone want a playoff? I like the fact that everyone in the country talks about college football for ten months out of the year. I like that everyone questions who should’ve been in the National Championship game. I liked it even more when, back in the day, there was no National Championship game and we just crowned the best team. I know that doesn’t seem fair but what the hell?!

What about the Jackson Mississippi Tennessee State Fighting Armadillos? They won’t get a chance to play in a bowl game in front of 15 people.  It just doesn’t seem fair to them. Now that school won’t get a check for $1 million for winning 6 games. I don’t know how that will make them feel? Maybe we’ll have a playoff and give the other teams that didn’t make it a trophy if they had more than 4 wins that season. We’ll even give it a great name like the Mike Leach Winner’s Trophy! Yeah, we can do that…note to self.

Why does there have to be  definitive winner? Just because every other sport from little league through the pros have a playoff, why do we have to?? Now all of these teams are changing conferences and creating these Super Conferences. They are pushing me into a corner and I don’t like it at all. I guess it’s inevitable that a playoff in major college football will come but I am going to fight it tooth and nail. Maybe we’ll let them have four teams in a playoff instead of 8 or 12. I’ll figure something out.

Thanks for being there for me, Diary, I really need you in these tough times.


Mark Emmert

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