Diary of a Douchebag – Metta World Peace

by Junior D on June 1, 2012 · 0 comments

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Dear Diary,

I know I’ve done some things wrong in my past but I am only looking toward a brighter future. I know that I used to drink Hennessy at halftime when I played for the Bulls, I know I’ve attended practice in a bath robe, I know I’ve destroyed TV cameras and requested a month off because the promotion of my album had me stressed out and tired. I’ve moved past that though. I’m all grown up and ready to meet my potential.

Oh, wait, there was that other time that I ran into the stands to beat the crap out of that fan that threw a drink at me…I know I didn’t go after the right guy but that was something I had to do. Again, I am past all of that foolishness.

Okay, maybe I’ve done more terrible stuff…I did get arrested and spent some time in jail for domestic violence. That wasn’t my fault though.

That’s why I changed my name. It was a statement that I was changing my life and I was going to be a good boy. People still hate me though…haters gotta hate I guess. They even said that I elbowed James Hardin on purpose, can you believe that?! I swear that I was just celebrating and accidentally crushed Hardin’s skull. You know how things look on slow motion replay.

Anyway, I am grown up and I promise to change things. I’m gonna be a good boy from now on. I promise, and this time I mean it!

Love,

Ron Art…I mean, Metta World Peace

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